Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sentimental Sunday...Posting Previous Marriages With Grace

While my husband and I were both married before, and often say we would like to forget those marriages ever occurred, we know that for future family members who might some day stumble across those marriage records, or other records from those marriages, we know it is best not to lock away those memories completely, but to keep record of them in our families genealogies for those future family researchers.

We also attempt to remain as impartial as possible, even when there are hurtful events that may have happened in those marriages. We list the facts [dates of events, vacations, trips, births, etc.] that occurred during those marriages, and leave personal feelings aside.

Are you recording those previous marriages that you would rather forget? Or are you leaving those events buried and hope that future family members won't uncover them?

Ah...hem.... if you hope they remain buried, do you really think they will? After all, how many unpleasant events have you uncovered for your ancestors that supposedly no one knew about?

My thinking is that it is better to list those events, stating the facts, and leaving the mystery of them buried. Remain as impartial as possible. Do not denigrate or degrade anyone!

Remember the old Dragnet  television show?

"Just the facts, ma'am. Just the facts!"
That's all you need to do.

The hubby with first wife. About 1970.

Me with second husband, Earl L. Austin [1940-2000]. This was in 1991 when we were married. The marriage lasted only a few weeks and was annulled.

It took Texican and I until 1997 to meet. We had both been married more than once. Something neither of us are proud of, but it's the facts.

And we both have publicly stated that those individuals we were married to before helped to shape the individual we have become today. And therefore we are grateful to them. And as such, we proudly list them in our family records.


DianaR said...

What a great post - and wonderful advice! I so wish I had the story of my grandfather's first marriage from more than just a divorce record I was able to dig up. Since that first marriage produced my mother - I'd love to have "the facts".

I think the last words in your title, "...With Grace" is how we should strive to record all our family history!

Mavis said...

Wonderful post