Madness Monday

It all started on Monday morning before Thanksgiving.

Great-grandpa headed out into the woods with his gun held safely across his chest. He sat the gun on the far side of the old split rail fence before he crossed over it. Stepped carefully across the large rocks that lay in a somewhat-straight path across the old creek bed. And climbed the steep trail up the mountain where he'd heard gobbling off and on for the past couple of months.

Coming into a thick, dense, brushy patch, he crouched low and waited.

Sure enough, off in the distance he could hear the gobbling.

Putting his open hand next to his mouth, ululating he mimicked the cry.

He didn't have long to wait. Out strutted the old gobbler. He shouldered his gun and fired.

That evening, he hung the turkey in the old barn by its feet. And on Tuesday, great-grandma cleaned it.

On Thanksgiving, great-grandma either roasted the turkey in the fireplace...

...or in the fireplace oven [I don't know which she actually used!]

Speed forward to Grandpa. He raised a gobbler every year. His deed wasn't performed until Tuesday morning, when he'd carry a sharp knife or axe, and head out to the chopping block with ol' Tom tucked under his arm.

Poor ol' Tom sometimes acted like he knew what was about to happen!

Grandma would hang Tom up by his feet, after the "beheading", and allow the blood to drain.

Next day, on Wednesday, Grandma would pluck and clean the innards from the big bird.

On Thursday... Grandma slow roasted the old bird in the oven of her woodstove...

Fast forward to today!

I head out to the local supermarket where I pick out the biggest frozen turkey in the freezer bins.

On sale, I pay $1.10 a pound for the bird. So the average cost is $22 to $27.50 for the old Tom turkey.

I simply place the turkey in my refrigerator to thaw out for a couple of days. Then pop it in the oven on the big day. Why... there's even a built in thermometer to tell me when the meat has reached its ideal cooking temperature. The guesswork is all taken out of it!

I simply don't know if I can handle the stress! It's just too much for me!!! Take me back to the good ol' days!!!

[NOT!!!!]