Humerous Obituary

Another humorous obituary, thanks to Dick Eastman over at EOGN. Many thanks for the info on this one!

Obituary

Michael James Sweetack was born in Fond du Lac Wisconsin on May 27th, 1974 to Stanley and Debra Sweetack. He died on July 5th, 2018, leaving behind 8 packets of Szechuan sauce, a whole lot of debt, one 10 euro note, and other various things that could very possibly be used to make concentrated dark matter, the fuel for accelerated space travel- regardless of the issue with relativity. He was preceded in the death by approximately 101 billion other people and his brother Brian James Sweetack. He was survived by his brother James Sweetack (Appleton), sister Bree Sweetack (A-town), and brother Andrew Sweetack (Green Bay Correctional). He enjoyed many things, such as getting “shwifty”, Drunk History, dark humor memes, his cat Bear, fast cars, and most of all his sister and his friends, each and every one of them. He donated to many causes, most importantly the Mount Rose American Teen Princess Pageant. He always rooted for the ‘most smartest’, and ‘the best god damn tapper’. He cared for humanity, always putting the needs of others above himself. He was the protector of every one he loved. Mike died knowing that global acts of terrorism happen every day, the known universe is made up of 50,000,000,000 galaxies, and cats always land on their feet thanks to physics. In leu of flowers, please feel free to set up your own memorial fund to learn something new or teach others. Or go to your local tavern and order a drink for two.. and say ‘uze want some shots? I’m buying..’ Mike, we love you and miss you more than any written words can express. We know you would say that ‘love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed’… but we don’t care, we miss you with every atom of our beings. Live long and prosper, even Pickle Rick.