Sharing Memories: Week #38

Sharing Memories (Week 38): Leaving Home & Some Bad Memories

These weekly blogging prompts have at times elicited smiles, laughs and a few reminiscing tears. But this one, well, it’s difficult to put down to the written word just what I could, or should, share.

So, I simply drew straws [in my mind], and this is what I have come up with.

Most everyone who knows me, knows that I was married at an early age. I was only 16 years old when I married the man [boy] I thought I wanted to grow old with.

The marriage lasted for 15 years. It was not a pleasant marriage. Oh, don’t get me wrong, there were good times, and five beautiful and wonderful children came of that marriage.

But… it was rife with physical and emotional abuse. And eventually, life threatening.

I won’t go into all the details, but let me share this, in the hopes that no other young woman will ever let herself go through what I did.

I don’t suppose I need to tell you, my parents were not thrilled with my giving up a college education to get married. My Dad was empathetic, but Mom? Well, the very last words she spoke to me before I walked down the aisle of the church to marry my sweetheart was, “You make your bed and you’ll lie in it.”

I was too thrilled to be getting married to let her words ruin my day, or deter me.

13 days later he hit me for the first time. On Christmas Day.

And I know it may sound cliché but the truth is, he brainwashed me into believing that every time he hit, slapped, or punched me, I had done something to deserve it.

I was a young girl, a teenager, playing at being grown up. But I always took what my Mother said to be golden. And I kept my mouth shut, because, after all, she’d told me those famous last words! And with those words still ringing in my ears, my new husband brainwashed me with his. Making me feel guilty for the punishments he rained upon me.

So, why do I bare all of this for my children and grandchildren, and future generations to read? [Not to mention publicly on this blog!]

I want all young women to realize that even if their Mother, or their Father, seems to have the nonchalant attitude, giving them perhaps the same words my Mother gave me, they still love you and will protect you should you be facing abuse from a spouse. And if not, then turn to local support [women’s shelters, even the police if needed] and get out of the situation as fast as you can.

If I can impress one thing upon you it is this: If he hit you once, he WILL hit you again! And a man who will hit a woman [or vice versa!] is capable of taking it a step farther. They can take a life.

And me? I came home from work one day to find he had packed his bags and had them sitting by the door. When I asked what was happening, his response was that he had to go “find” himself.

My response? For the first time I was emboldened, and I replied, “Don’t let the door hit you in the backside on the way out!”

I am certain, knowing him like I did, that he wanted me to cry and beg him to stay. But I didn’t.

Get help. Leave!!! Protect yourself and your children.

Life is much, much too short to live in fear and pain.

Today? I will be celebrating my 15^th anniversary to a wonderful, kind, loving man in Februay. And believe me, every day just gets better and better!

Sentimental Sunday - The Proud Family Theme Song

52 Weeks of Abundant Genealogy - Week #38

Week 38: Funny Ancestor Stories. Tell us a funny ancestor story that stands out in your mind. When did you first hear the story? Do other family members tell different versions? Does this tale play a large part in your family tree?

I can tell several funny stories on my parents, but surely wouldn’t want to embarrass either of them!

I do have a funny tale about my great-great-grandfather [which is about as far back as I can go with funny tales!].

It seems that during the Civil War, gr-gr-grandfather Bean decided that with renegade soldiers making their way toward his home, that he would hide his cache of gold. [This was in 1863. And gr-gr-grandfather was considered one of the wealthiest men in the state at the time. His cash assets worth over $50,000 in 1862. And his property well over a $50,000, then.]

The gold was to remain hidden until either the War was over, or there was no longer any threat. This was in 1863.

On January 1^st, 1864, gr-gr-grandfather was leading a posse after some renegade soldiers, as part of the “home guard”. He was 72 years old. As he led the group into a hollow, they came upon a cabin where the outlaws were hiding. On approaching the cabin, one of the renegades was hidden in the cabin loft, and as gr-gr-grandfather stepped toward the cabin after dismounting, he was shot and killed.

Unfortunately, he did not tell anyone where the gold was hidden. And the cache of gold has never been found. It was reported to have been worth tens of thousands of dollars back then.

Over the past 150+ years, many have tried to locate the gold. Metal detectors and shovels and picks were routinely carried into the forest near the family farm over the years and hopefuls searched and dug for the treasure.

About 65 years ago, a cousin decided to search. After several days of walking through the forest he came upon a strong signal with his metal detector. The spot where he got such a positive hit was in a wet, marshy piece of the property. Undeterred, however, he enlisted the aid of several cousins in the dig. They dug for two days; when finally they hit something sharp and metallic.

[The problem was that as fast as they dug, the boggy mud and slime was covering up the spot just dug!]

Working as hard and as fast as they could, the uncovered a large squared iron top, about 40” x 40”. Unable to extract the giant monstrosity, and with bated breath and every single man believing he was suddenly going to become unbelievably wealthy, they enlisted the aid of a mule to pull the thing from the bog.

The mule heaved, and pulled, and heaved, and pulled, until finally it pulled the object from the ground.

Imagine the amazement when the “thing” was an old cast iron cook stove!

Not to be undone, they searched through the interior of the stove in hopes the cache of gold was hidden inside.

There was nothing but mud and slime.

For years the joke was that the Bean men found the treasure of old William Bean…his treasured cook stove.

The story about the gold is believed to be true, as William’s wealth was well documented. Whether he hid it, or he lost it [he was a true Confederate sympathizer, and may have had his gold exchanged for Confederate dollars] is not known. But there are those still living who recall the great search for it, and the find of old William’s treasured cast iron stove!

SNGF - Three Degrees of Separation

Randy Seaver over at GeneaMusings has come up with another great Saturday Night Genealogy Fun challenge for this evening!

For this week's mission (should you decide to accept it), I want you to:

1) Using your ancestral lines, how far back in time can you go with three degrees of separation? That means "you knew an ancestor, who knew another ancestor, who knew another ancestor." When was that third ancestor born?

So, let’s start with my Bean/ Faudree line:

1] BEAN: Me, [born 1959], know my Dad [born 1937], knew his father, John Monroe Bean [born 1866 – died 1954], who knew his father, William M. Bean [born 1832 – died 1890], who knew his grandfather, Joseph Wiseman [1759-1836]

2] FAUDREE: Me [b. 1959] knew my Grandmother, Mary Elizabeth Faudree [b.1897-d.1975]; she knew her grandfather, Richard Faudree [1834-1902]; who may have known his grandfather, Joseph P. Faudree [b. 1780]

On the Dreher/ Banet side:

3] DREHER: Me [b. 1959]; I knew my grandfather, Henry C. Dreher, Jr. [1902-1977]; who knew his father, Henry C. Dreher, Sr. [1863-1925]; who knew his father, Gottlieb Dreher [1827-1893].

4] BANET: Me [b. 1959]; I knew my grandmother, Irene Caroline Banet [1906-1989]; she knew her father, Francis Isidore Banet [1863-1945]. “Frank”  who knew his grandfather, Ettiene Banet [1795-1871]; Ettiene knew his father, Ettiene Banet, Sr. [1765-1842].

So, the furthest back going three degrees on the BEAN/ FAUDREE  line is 1759.

And on the DREHER/ BANET line is 1765.

Totally awesome! Thanks Randy for another great challenge!

Surname Saturday - Those Clements Folks

Once again, we are going to delve into the hubby’s side of the family. We’re going to take a look at the Clements surname and take a reality check here.

What follows, back about 7 generations, I have totally proven. What follows that, however, comes from a well shared tree that I have not yet had the opportunity to investigate and research. Why do I tell you this?

Simply because, if I have not proven it, I cannot say it is so. When I reach the point beyond where I have proven, I will make a notation for you.

With that being said, here are the Clements.

 

GENERATION 1

1. Johnnie Lee HENRY son of Joseph Wright HENRY and Betty Louise Rotge was born in San Antonio, Bexar Co, TX.

Cynthia Ann BEANE daughter of Walter Maxwell BEANE and Lois Velleda DREHER was born in New Albany, Floyd Co., IN.

Johnnie Lee HENRY and Cynthia Ann BEANE were married in Covington, Alleghany Co., VA.

 

GENERATION 2

2. Joseph Wright HENRY son of William Lee HENRY and Emma Louise PETTIE was born on 20 Sep

1927 in Fulton County, KY. He died on 16 Nov 1993 in Batesville, Panola, Mississippi.

3. Betty Louise Rotge daughter of John Cornelius ROTGE and Ora Lee Sparks was born on 30 Aug

1930 in Kerrville, Kerr, Texas. She died on 05 Jul 2003 in Jourdanton, Atascosa, Texas.

Joseph Wright HENRY and Betty Louise Rotge were married on 30 Jul 1947.

 

GENERATION 3

6. John Cornelius ROTGE son of Peter ROTGE and Lillie Mae Surber was born on 16 Jan 1910. He

died on 09 Jun 1983 in Kerrville, Kerr, Texas.

7. Ora Lee Sparks daughter of William Jacob Sparks and Laura May Clements was born on 26 Oct

1914 in Bandera, Edwards, Texas. She died in Aug 1982 in San Antonio, Bexar, Texas.

John Cornelius ROTGE and Ora Lee Sparks were married in 1930.

 

GENERATION 4

14. William Jacob Sparks son of Newton Caddell Sparks and Theodora Perrylee McCarty was born on

11 Mar 1883 in Erath County, Texas. He died on 12 Sep 1944 in Kerrville, Kerr, Texas.

15. Laura May Clements daughter of James Thomas CLEMENTS and Anne Caroline TENNILLE was

born on 12 May 1890 in McCullough County, Texas. She died on 06 Oct 1969 in Hilltop Convalescent

Home, 7602 Louis Pasteur Dr., San Antonio, Bexar, Texas.

William Jacob Sparks and Laura May Clements were married on 15 Apr 1906 in Bandera, Texas.

 

GENERATION 5

30. James Thomas CLEMENTS son of Emanuel CLEMENTS and Martha Balch HARDIN was born on

30 May 1843 in Missouri. He died on 22 May 1897 in Dewitt County, Texas.

31. Anne Caroline TENNILLE daughter of George Culver TENNILLE and Amanda J. BILLINGS was

born on 11 Nov 1858 in Texas. She died on 14 Oct 1936 in San Antonio, Bexar, Texas.

James Thomas CLEMENTS and Anne Caroline TENNILLE were married on 11 Jan 1872 in Gonzales

County, Texas.

 

GENERATION 6

60. Emanuel CLEMENTS son of William CLEMENTS and Unknown POLK was born on 10 May 1813 in

Kentucky. He died on 02 Jul 1864 in Freestone County, Texas.

61. Martha Balch HARDIN daughter of Benjamin HARDIN and Martha Ann BARNETT was born on 04

Jan 1817 in Wayne County, Tennessee. She died on 26 Mar 1867.

Emanuel CLEMENTS and Martha Balch HARDIN were married on 20 Jul 1836 in Marshall Co., MS.

 

GENERATION 7

120. William CLEMENTS son of John CLEMENTS and Elizabeth Keturah THOMPSON was born in 1753

in Augusta, Virginia. He died about 1830 in Tennessee.

121. Unknown POLK. [Unproven]

 

****BEYOND THIS I have not proven. While I suspect even part may be correct, it remains a theory until I can provide citation and source to prove each element. Proceed with caution if using this information, realizing the following is proven!

 

GENERATION 8

240. John CLEMENTS son of John CLEMENT and Katherine WATSON was born in 1725 in Augusta,

Virginia. He died on 19 Aug 1777 in Rowan, North Carolina.

241. Elizabeth Keturah THOMPSON was born in 1729 in Augusta, Virginia.

John CLEMENTS and Elizabeth Keturah THOMPSON were married between 1751-1752.

 

GENERATION 9

480. John CLEMENT son of William CLEMENTS and Anne TAYLOR was born in 1704 in Hanover, New

Kent, Virginia. He died in 1793 in Amelia, Virginia.

481. Katherine WATSON.

 

GENERATION 10

960. William CLEMENTS son of Benjamin CLEMENTS and Judith PARKER was born in 1670 in King

William County, Virginia. He died on 28 Feb 1760 in Amelia, Virginia.

961. Anne TAYLOR daughter of James TAYLOR and Mary GREGORY was born about 1679 in

Gloucester, Virginia. She died about 1720 in Amelia, Virginia.

 

GENERATION 11

1920.Benjamin CLEMENTS son of John Francis CLEMENTS and Lydia BLIGHTON was born in 1650 in

Gloucester, Virginia. He died on 09 Jul 1728 in Southampton County, Virginia.

1921.Judith PARKER daughter of Richard Chirugeon PARKER and Judith BURTON was born in 1650 in

Virginia. She died in 1744 in Virginia.

 

GENERATION 12

3840.John Francis CLEMENTS son of Jeremiah CLEMENTS and Edith PIERCE was born in 1632 in

Gloucester, Virginia. He died in 1719 in Isle of Wight County, Virginia.

3841.Lydia BLIGHTON was born in 1632 in Gloucester, Virginia. She died in 1719 in Isle of Wight County,Virginia.

 

 

GENERATION 13

7680.Jeremiah CLEMENTS son of Geoffrey CLEMENTS and Elizabeth FULLER was born on 08 Nov

1607 in St. James, London, England. He died on 17 Mar 1657 in Upper Chippokes Creek, Virginia.

7681.Edith PIERCE was born in 1607 in London, England. She died in 1644 in Virginia.

 

GENERATION 14

15360G.eoffrey CLEMENTS son of Jeremiah CLEMENTS and Agnes WEBSTER was born in 1570 in

Devonshire, Oxfordshire, England. He died in 1609 in Oxfordshire, England.

15361E.lizabeth FULLER daughter of Cuthbert FULLER was born in 1579 in Ivinghoe, Buckinghamshire,

England. She died on 26 Aug 1633 in London, Middlesex, England.

Geoffrey CLEMENTS and Elizabeth FULLER were married in 1590 in London.

 

GENERATION 15

30720Jeremiah CLEMENTS was born in 1550 in Hunts, England. He died in England.

30721A.gnes WEBSTER was born in 1553 in England. She died in England.

Jeremiah CLEMENTS and Agnes WEBSTER were married in 1577 in Hunts, England.

Family Recipe Friday - Mama's Tomato Gravy

Photo via here

 

I’ve mentioned here before, my Mama was, and still is, the best Mama in the world! However, Mama, hard as she tried, only excelled at a few dishes. She never truly mastered the art of using measuring tools, or sticking to a recipe. She would often substitute, and when she did… look out!

Still, there were a few dishes she was absolutely genius with. And this is one of those.

Mama no longer is capable of cooking. But there are times when I wish, just once, I could go back and have some of Mama’s tomato gravy! Sometimes we had cornbread with it [which was my favorite!] , and sometimes we had biscuits [Mama’s biscuits were more like really thick pie crusts than biscuits! – I know…. she tried!], but more often than not, Mama simply served the gravy over slices of white bread.

I’d be in heaven to have Mama’s tomato gravy today! And even when I do get a hankering and make it myself, it just doesn’t compare to the taste of Mama’s on my lips!

Years ago, when I first started out as a new wife [don’t ask how many years ago that was!] Mama wrote the recipe down for me. I came across the old recipe card the other day… and this is one I simply had to share.

 

Mama’s Tomato Gravy

• 1/4 cup Bacon grease or shortening
• 1/4 to 1/3 cup all purpose flour
• 1 can of whole tomatoes with liquid(crush tomatoes with your hands)
• salt and pepper to taste
• 1/2 cup of water

 

---

·       In large cast iron skillet, heat bacon grease or shortening

·       Stir in flour and lower heat to med. low

·       Keep stirring to brown flour to a dark stage.

·       Be careful not to burn. This takes a little while so don't try to hurry it up.

·       When flour gets to the dark stage, slowly stir in tomatoes with liquid.

·       Add water a little at a time while stirring tomato gravy.

·       Season with salt and pepper and simmer on low for 10 to 15 minutes.

As I said, I love this over cornbread, or homemade biscuits. With a side of collard greens, you’ve got yourself a full meal!

 

Open Thread Thursday - Genealogy Generosity

This week’s topic for Open Thread Thursday is:

Do you remember being the recipient of “genealogy generosity” at some point in your family history journey? Was it when you first started out and someone guided you to the right resources and methodologies? Perhaps someone sent you photos and documents needed to break through a brick wall?

A networking of “helping each other out” seems to be a hallmark of the genealogy community, especially with new sites like Generous Genealogists and GenGathering appearing recently.

Let us know how the generosity of other genealogists has impacted your own research and if it has motivated you to “pay it forward” to others in the genealogy community. This is a great time to do a shout out to that person or organization and say, “Thank you!”

 

 

My Own Journey to Genealogy actually began when I was in college. There I began a brief period when I had interest in my family's genealogy. But as a young mother, with five children, life had a way of "getting in the way" and my personal pursuits were laid aside until I had time to actually begin doing something entirely for myself.

 

Back in 2001 my parents gave me a photocopy of a self-published book by Fanniel Bell Beane, William Bean of Monroe County, West Virginia and His Descendants. Fannie and her husband, James Beane, began working on this project more than twenty years prior to the printing of the book, which was a hand typed book that was placed in a spiral bound cardstock form. They did all of the research at a time when computers were as big as a house [well, as big as a large room!] and they had to visit close to 20 states as I recall. [James was a direct descendant of WIlliam Bean.]

 

From my first glance through the book, I was enraptured once again with pursuing my genealogy. [Those of you who perform genealogy know it's not an overstatement when I say I was "enraptured".] I finally knew what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

 

Just 4 years prior I was diagnosed with lung cancer. As you can see, the 6-month prognosis I was given proved to be but a stepping stone for me in pursuing other things. Remission occurred. However, it left me with a compromised immune system that would keep me down for a long time. I sank into a depression, believing I had a short life ahead of me.[ And because the immune problems, I was unable to work outside of the home.]

 

That is until I got a copy of the book by Fannie, and I found a new purpose for my life. My Mother took her copy of the book, literally, apart, and photocopied it for me. I took the pages, punched them and placed them in a notebook. That same time, my new husband introduced me to the personal computer. I had learned data punch entry in school. And had even learned how to use a word processor [looked a lot like an old desktop computer, and documents produced could be saved to a floppy disk.] But I had no experience with a computer.

 

So, he pieced together a computer, told me to learn it, and left me seated in front of it. Yes, literally.

 

I began playing with the word processor first. Then I hit the "Help" tab one day and found out that there was so much more I could do! When I asked for DH to help me... he said "Go to the library and get a book". He wanted me to really learn. And he knew that the more I learned on my own, the better I would be at it.

 

Before long... I stopped at a local Internet provider shop one day. I started a subscription, got a second phone line so I wouldn't compromise my regular line, and I guess you could say the rest is history!

 

I tell about DH and the computer, to get a point made about Fannie. With the new access to the Internet, and all that I learned regarding the computer that year, I began putting Fannie's information into a rough "tree" using Excel. [I was quite proud of my accomplishing this!] I hadn't yet at this point realized there was such a thing as a genealogy data program, or online sites such as Family Search or Ancestry.com.

 

But I wanted more. At that time, I discovered a search engine! [I actually learned of a search engine through a magazine article I was reading.] So, I typed in genealogy, and don't ya know Family Search was the first site that came up? There was some great helps there to assist me in starting my own search. And also a free download for a PAF program.

 

So, I downloaded the program... and literally haven't stopped since then! [Incidentally, that PAF program was my absolute favorite until 2006 when I got my first copy of FTM.]

 

So, I went back to Fannie's book, and began inputting all of the information I could from it. It took quite awhile. But when I was finished, I went back over the material. And I realized I was left with many, many, MANY questions yet. Questions I wanted answers to.

 

About that time, we had a family reunion. And for the first time, I was able to meet face to face with Fannie. I have to tell you, I was in awe of the woman!. She was elderly, but sharp as a tack, even though a stroke had left her in a wheelchair.

 

That first meeting, I bombarded her with questions. "Where did you find this information, or that?" I not only wanted more information, I wanted to know how or where the information came from. Even though at the time, I wasn't aware I should be writing all of this into the program as sources and citations!

 

Fannie was super indulgent. We exchanged mailing addresses, Fannie had an email address, but seldom ever used it, feeling better about writing a physical letter.

 

Over the next few years, Fannie encouraged me, while she shared her wisdom and data. When I didn't know where else to look, Fannie would give me new ideas: the county courthouse, the state archives, the state Blue Book, and the list went on and on and on. She encouraged me to look online first as data was just opening up and I might find what I was searching for there first, but always be prepared to dig into those musty old books and ledgers, and files for what I needed to find. She encouraged the use of LDS materials. [She even taught me how to use a microfilm reader, via a postal letter!]

At times, Fannie even mailed me her personal notebooks on individuals. I still have those, and treasure them!

 

Sadly, Fannie left this world in 2010. There's scarcely a moment when I am working on my family genealogy that I do not think of her. Each time I discover something new, I am momentarily set back as I automatically think, "I've got to tell Fannie I found this!", and thrown back into reality when I realize that I can't.

 

Somehow, I think Fannie knows when I find something and record it.

 

I have this visual image in my mind of Fannie sitting there with her husband, James, and old William and his wife, and their many children, and grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, etc., and saying "Well at least one remembers us!"

Fannie isn't the only one who has helped me. As I said, my DH is the one who helped me to learn how to use a computer, and he encouraged me to pursue genealogy, not only for my own purposes, but professionally. And there was Paul Banet [now deceased], a second cousin, who gave me invaluable information on my mother's side of the family. And my second cousin, Ralph Faudree [also, now deceased], who did the same with my paternal grandmother's side of the family.

 

I do my very best to "pay it forward". I work with and mentor individuals within my family, praying that they will be driven to keep the family legacy and information "alive" long after I am not. I perform research for family members on their "other" family lines at no charge, while attempting to get them encouraged to begin looking for themselves as well. And I volunteer as the genealogist for our Clan MacBean. I also write a monthly newsletter for all of William's descendants, for which there is no charge, and which is now in its 11th year.

 

I hope that by volunteering my services, and mentoring others, I am in some small way, repaying those whose shoulders I have stood upon. And to whom I am ever grateful; for pursuit has given me meaning and purpose.